Five books that shaped my work
A Way of Being by Carl Rogers - This collection of works by the founder of the person-centred approach sets out the core philosophy of my work. In short: we don’t need to be taught how to grow, because growth is in our nature. Just as birds fly and flowers bloom, you will heal and change. The work of therapy is to let in the light, the rich soil and the water, and to release this natural process of becoming yourself.
Therapeutic Improvisation by Michael Alcée - One thing I love about therapy is that neither of us know where we will go or what we will find there. The subtitle of this book is ‘How to Stop Winging It and Own It as a Therapist’, and it’s all about combining your expertise with a light-handed playfulness. This matches how I work, helping you to find new metaphors, get creative with old ideas, and let life flow.
The Gift of Therapy by Irvin Yalom - This book of advice from the existential therapist Irvin Yalom is full of wisdom about how to sit with others in their pain. One idea from his work that I love is that there are ‘four givens of existence’, which none of us can escape from. These are: that life is meaningless, death is certain, we will have to make choices and live with them, and we are all fundamentally alone. Bleak, I know, but it can be freeing to accept that these pains are something we all share.
The Transforming Power of Affect by Diana Fosha - When I first started working as a counsellor, I often found tears forming in my eyes when people shared their stories with me. This book helped me to embrace these moments of empathy and to use them to help my clients. I believe therapy is most powerful when both people in the room are emotionally present, and Fosha’s book explains how and why.
Dark Nights of the Soul by Thomas Moore - When I was struggling most, my therapist at the time suggested I read this book. The author uses myth and legend to reveal how our hardest struggles can be transformative rites of passage. Instead of fighting against darkness, it encourages us to embrace it, and to learn that we can live both in the darkness and in the light.
